Batman and the Fat Girl

In his primary and middle school years, Neil, though small in stature, was a scrapper and a kid to be reckoned with and avoided in a fight as his body was already lean and muscles taught from all his sports training and activities.

And being Irish he opted to carrying about his own “shillelagh”, which was a miniature baseball bat that he used during the Summer to play stickball in the streets with his neighborhood buddies and to just swing it around to strengthen his wrists reflexes for each sport season.

On this day Neil was heading back home when he rounded a street corner and ran into a gang of older boys that were “shaking down” one of Neil’s classmates whose books and papers were all scattered about and the poor kid was being pushed back and forth by the Bullies.   

The classmate was one of those studious types with thick glasses and always with a book in hand, what is called a “nerd” these days or a “wimp”. 

So he was easy pickings for the Bullies who circled him with taunts and physical shoving seeing if they could shake down the poor kid and get some money or just have fun harassing an innocent just for amusement.

Well Neil sees what’s happening and walks up to the gang and asks, “What’s going on here?” (which he already knew what was taking place).

The Bullies Leader then steps forward with a “None of your business #!*@head! Get Lost!” and gives Neil a shove…

AUGH OH! That was a big mistake.  You should never provoke a fight with an Irishman.  They never quit!

Neil took another shove and then with lightning speed BATMAN arose!  First swing was to the head that open a 6-stitch gash and made a bloody mess, followed by strikes to the arms and knees, then one to the nose for black eyes and finally a crushing blow that broke the bastard’s leg, leaving him crying in a bleeding heap on the ground.

It was all over in less than a minute and Neil just stood there saying “Next!?”

The rest of the Bullies stepped back and then scattered, leaving their buddy to moan alone.

Neil then helped his classmate pick up his belongings and walked with the boy back to his home, before heading for the gym to cool down.

Later that evening Constable O’Malley stopped by Neil’s house and asked Neil if he knew anything about the fight that happened downtown that afternoon?  Neil replied, “What fight?  I was at the gym all afternoon.” 

“Well” said O’Malley, “That ruffian from the Elm Street Gang got himself landed in the hospital with a broken leg and plenty of stitches.  Seems he bit off more than he could chew and got what he deserved.  Nice seein’ ya Neil.”

After dinner Neil’s father called Neil over for an old Irish saying, “For the Irish it is only a fight if you WIN.”  No more needed to be said.

The Fat Girl

Later in the Fall school term Neil noticed a group of boys huddling together on the playground, so he went over to investigate.  What he found was a bunch of boys who had surrounded the class’s “Fat Girl”.  (There is always one.) 

The boys were calling her names, making derogatory and demeaning comments and not releasing her from their fun and games.

Of course Neil steps into the fray, is disgusted at what he sees and sets out to break up the gathering.  He comments that it is not right to judge anyone by how they look or by their race or ethnic background, and that they should apologize to the girl.

And as usual there is always the wise guy who blurts out, “Make ME!”  So Neil obliges the idiot with a right to the nose, which raises his arms for a punch to the gut, which doubles him over for an uppercut to the chin that sends him flat on his back with a bloody nose. A 10-second basketball drill.

Neil then takes the Fat Girl by the hand.  Asks her if she is alright.  And then escorts her back to where her girlfriends are sitting.

A little while later one of the prettiest girls in school and the BFF (Best Friend Forever) of the Fat Girl came over to Neil and thanked him for rescuing her friend and if he ever needed anything she and all the girls in school will help him.

This one little incident made Neil the undisputed champion and protector of all the girls in the school and gave him the opportunity to cherry pick the best among them… which he did.   

But what is the important take away from these two tales is the fact that even at an early age Neil had developed a strong moral core and would selflessly engage in supporting anyone in need of help. 

To this day this humanitarian attitude still pervades his memories and he remains a most GIVING human being.

Copyright © 2025, GROUP K, Ltd.

Snowballs & BLT’s

Winters in Rhode Island are punctuated with joyous snowfalls that little boys revel in as it is a time of no school, building snow forts and bombarding each other with snowballs.

Neil’s youth was filled with glorious snow days and he and his gang on his street enjoyed those white days in pursuits of happiness and joy.

Neil was, of course, the Commanding General of his team of 7-year olds who were out with the first snowflake fall, planning, organizing and building THEIR Fortress and implements of bombardment.   Neil insisted on a high rampart that the little boys could hide behind and a huge stockpile of ammo… Snowballs!

There was Big Jimmy on the right flank defending the street side. He was backed by Ian quick hands and Thomas in the center.  Little McG and the Don held the left and managed the arsenal.  And Neil ran around yelling orders and throwing whatever he got his hands on.  It was his street to defend.

At the other end of the street were the 9-12 year old bullies, the arch enemies forever.  They were bigger and stronger and more stupid,   Their fortress was always too low so they moved around like arcade targets that got pelted regularly.  They had longer arm range but seldom penetrated Neil’s high walls. 

The Bully Boys also never learned to stockpile ammo thus it was a grab and throw offense that left them vulnerable to Neil’s counter attacks.  While they were bending over Neal’s team would launch a barrage, pelting them every which way.  Then the little boys would retreat to safety and replenish stocks.  This tactic worked for days and many years to come.

In fact, Joey and a couple of other Big Boys eventually joined Neil’s team as they got tired of being on the stupid losing side each winter.  But in the end, all winter snowball rivalries ended in lasting friendships, good laughs and hot food when Moms called a halt to the wars.  Little boys should always thank their mothers for their feed breaks and stopping friendly wars.

New Snowfalls

Of course the competition for street dominance would commence in earnest with each new snowfall.  Ramparts needed rebuilding, ammo dumps replenished and new team strategies discussed.



But first came the MONEY making.  IT WAS NEIL’S STREET.  New snow meant the “Shovel Brigade” would be mobilized early in the morning.  The call to arms would go out and the boys would be out knocking on doors offering to shovel driveways, porches, walkways and sidewalks all up and down HIS STREET. 

It was a flat rate deal of $ 5.00 per house and each boy did 8 to 10 houses each morning and a quick scrape late afternoon if it snowed all day.  Neil made sure all his boys made money and kept what they made.  Any bigger boys that tried to invade HIS territory was looking for a fight, and Neil would fight…..and they all knew it.

All this shoveling, of course, led to reserve ammo stockpiles, so besides making his buddies rich, he fortified his winter street dominance.  Smart little fella even at 7.  And many of his street teammates that got their first taste of business through hard work shoveling snow and providing a real community service, later became millionaires and honored community leaders thanks to Neil’s early age example. 

BLT’s

Winter memories would not be complete without spending some of winter gains.  So Neil gathered his snow shovel crew and marched them down to the end of HIS street to O’Conner’s Deli Restaurant for a much deserved hot breakfast.



At 7 Neil had never been inside O’Conner’s  but knew his Dad and elder brother Tom frequented this cozy Irish corner.  So emboldened by a pocket full of cash, he led his crew to the counter stools.

5 little wide eyed boys sat there for the first time, each wondering what to do next.  They looked back and forth at each other, not even knowing what or how to order.  Strangers in a strange land.

Old man O’Conner came up behind the counter and said, “Mornin’ Laddies!  What’ll it be?”  Dumbfounded the boys just sat there and swiveled on their stools, eyes darting around, not knowing what to say. 

Neil finally piped up, “I want a BLT…..No make that 5 BLTs for all of us and hot chocolats,”

Neil didn’t know the foggiest of what a BLT was.

So the 5 boys sat there swiveling back and forth wondering what a BLT was, much less how much it cost.  Neil just sat there stoically pretending like he knew what he was doing and hoping everything would work out alright.  Perhaps a prayer and a few Hail Marys were rambling through his head as the minutes of silence slowly ticked over and nothing came out of the kitchen. 

“What’s a BLT?” was finally revealed when the plates arrived out of the kitchen.  “Here ya go boys.  Yer Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato sandwiches.”  The boys looked at their plates, then looked at Neil.  Neil looked back, picked up his sandwich and had his first glorious bite of the best sandwich he ever ate.  They all tuckered in.  It was one of those days that you remember for a lifetime.  



Do you remember your first BLT?  Neil does.  And so do his little buddies who are now old and gray but still ordering another one and remembering when.

And when it came time to pay, old O’Conner said, “Neil, I saw you and your friends shoveling snow this morning and I know that this is your first BLT, so this one is on me.  You will all be back again for many more and you will always be welcome here.”

So, when you do good for others, it often comes back to you in many other warm ways.  From an early age, Neil has operated in such a giving manner.  A lesson for all.

Copyright © 2025, GROUP K, Ltd.